* Hi, I'd like to use your panties to make soup.

* I only buy Playboy for the articles.

* I haven't gotten any in 2 years, what about you?

* Wanna go play twister naked?

* Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?

* Would you consider dating a child molester?

* Please excuse me if I appear erect. I am.

* I'm a police officer, and I will be forced to do a body cavity search.

* Which is easier? Getting into those tight pants or getting out of them?

* My friends call me Santa. Wanna sit on my lap?

* There's something about you that I like. I just can't put my finger on it.

* May I have the distinguished honor and privilege of sitting next to you?

* Do you believe in one night stands?

* My friend and I made a bet and I need to check if those are implants.

* So, what do you do besides making men excited and warm all over?

* Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.

* How was heaven when you left it?

* That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

* You look like the type of girl that has heard every line in the book. So what's one more?

* Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

* Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

* Are you cold? You should be; you've been naked in my mind all night.

* Excuse me, mind if I stare at you for a minute? I want to remember
your face for my dreams.

* You're what God was thinking of when He said, "Let there be woman."

* You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

* Ya know, you look really *hot*! You must be real reason for global warming.

* You remind me of bacon, the way you sizzle.

* You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.

* Are your feet tired?
You've been running through my mind all night.

* I'm an astronaut. Wanna see my rocket?

* The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to make love to you on the floor.

* I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without
mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.

* Do you have a fever? You look pretty hot from here.

* Want to smell my cologne? It cost 2 dollars for a half gallon.

* If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the
answer to this question?

* Is it hot in here or is it just you?

* You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.

* Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

* [Look at her shirt label. When she say's, "What are you doing?":]

1. Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
2. Checking to see if you're the right size.

* If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

* Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about
the first thing that pops up?

* There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

* HI! Can I buy you a car?

* I am a magical being, take off your bra.

* I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

* Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

* Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

* Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but
you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."

* I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

* I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

* Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

* Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

* I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.

* Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her
I just met the girl of my dreams.

* Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation?

(No.) Do you wanna go to my place and talk.

* What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

* I'm easy. Are you?

* Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.

* I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

* Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call your mother and thank her.

* I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds

* Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

*I am afraid to blink because I might miss a moment of your beauty.

* (Motion for girl to come here with one finger),
"If I can make you come with this finger, imagine what I could do with all five!"

* I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

* I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

* I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock!

* Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

* Just call me milk, I'll do your body good.

* I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

* Hi my name is _______, remember it, cause you'll be screaming it all night long.

* If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

* My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going....

* If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

* I wish you were a drum so I could bang you all day long.

* (Lick finger and wipe on shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

* Nice legs....what time do they open?

* Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

* You've got 206 bones in your body, want 1 more?

* I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest women on earth tonight.

* Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

* I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

* Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

* Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

* Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

* I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.

* The word of the day is LEGS, so let's go to my house and spread the word.

* This Valentine's Day, I really want you to know how I feel.....
So you better use both hands.

* Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?

* Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw.


* Have you got a boyfriend? do you want a better one?

* When they made the alphabet they should have put U and I together.

* You know, you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

* Are those real?

* Is there room in your purse for the keys to my porsche?

* Help the homeless - take me home with you.

* I've lost my bed, can I sleep in yours?.

* Are you a model?

* That dress looks great on you, but I'd look better.

* I'm not from around here, can you tell me how to get to your house?

* Hello, my name is Chance - do I have one?

* I'm an organ donor - need anything?

* I've lost my phone number - can I have yours?

* Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?

"Does this look infected to you?"

Thanks for all the "Santas Pickup Lines"


1. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?

2. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!

3. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

4. I know when you've been bad or good ... so let's skip the small talk, sister!

5. Some of my best toys run on batteries.

6. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that's what the Mrs. calls it)

7. I see you when you're sleeping ... and you don't wear any underwear, do you?

8. Forget the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list!

9. Wanna join My "Mile High" club?


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