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* Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

* I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

* Let's subscribe to Hustler.

* Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is nude sunbathing again, come see!

* Say, let's go down to the mall so you can check out hot chicks.

* Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer and have
my friend Tammy over for a threesome!

* I'll be painting the house this weekend.

* I love it when you play golf on Sunday's, I just wish you had time to play on Saturday too.

* I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

* No, no ... I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

* Your mother did a great job raising you.

* Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's day thing and buy yourself those new clubs.

* Shouldn't you be down at the bar with your buddies?

* Not the mall again! Come on let's go to that new strip joint!

* I understand fully...our anniversary comes every year.
You go hunting with the guys,
it's a wonderful stress reliever.

* Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire and get that
nagging handicap down to 7 or 8.

* I signed up for yoga so that I can get my ankles behind my head for you...

* Would you like to watch me make love to my girlfriend?

* I'm bored. Let's shave my little kitty.

* Please don't throw that old T-shirt away. The holes in the armpits are too cute.

* No honey, I don't want it! That diamond is just way too big.

* I'm wrong, you must be right again.

* Honey, you work so hard during the week,

on Saturday I want you to rest and watch the game....

and I'll mow the lawn.

* Go ahead and leave the seat up. It's easier for me to douche that way.

* Does this make my ass look too small?

New Just Added....

* Wow! It really is 10 inches!

* I know it's a lot tighter back there but would you please try again?


If you know of anything else that "The Perfect Wife Would Say"
(Try to keep them clean or "R" rated)

mail to: AHP at

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